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Self Esteem

January 29, 2008

How to Build Your Self-Esteem: Secrets of Self-Confident People



How to Build Your Self-Esteem: Secrets of Self-Confident People

How to Build Your Self-Esteem: Secrets of Self-Confident People
By Randy Siegel

"I don't get it. Why is my boss heading up my organization when there are much smarter people under him?' a seminar participant asked recently. It was obvious to all of us that she was frustrated.

Since I didn't know her boss, I couldn't really answer, but if her boss is like many managers I've known, the answer is simple -- self-confidence.

"Do you remember that girl in high school who really wasn't that pretty, or even nice, but she was still popular?" I asked. "She had something about her that attracted others to her -- self-confidence."

"Instead of getting angry, maybe it's time for you to take a page out of your boss' book. After all, he must be doing something right," I suggested.

I explained that someone who is confident is very attractive. And each of us has the power be self-confident. In fact, studies reveal that most of us secretly think we're better than everyone else. We rate ourselves as more dependable, smarter, friendlier, harder-working, less-prejudiced, and even better in the sack than other people.

"Some might feel that way," she retorted. "But I tend to be pretty hard on myself."

Self-confidence is available to us all. All we have to do is borrow the same three strategies that people who appear to be confident use.

First, we have to know our strengths; we have to know where we shine. Friends' feedback, past evaluations, and a variety of psychological instruments including the Myers-Briggs Indicator, The Birkman System, and the Enneagram can provide clues. I have found the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D., particularly helpful. (If you purchase the book, it will contain an identification number that allows you to take the StrengthsFinder profile on the Internet.)

Second, we have to claim our strengths, and sometimes that means "faking it till we make it."

We claim our strengths by seeking opportunities to use them and then promote our successes. When I was in public relations, I worked with a man who was a wonderful pitch person. He was the first to volunteer to pitch a story to the media and wasn't bashful about speaking about his successes.

There was a woman who worked at the agency who was also an excellent pitch person, and in my opinion she was much stronger than he. But because she didn't claim her strengths she watched him fly up the corporate ladder before her.

I have seen this happen way too often to women in the workplace. Women can find it harder than men to promote themselves, and when they don't, they do themselves a huge disservice.

Third, self-confident people fuel their confidence. All of us have days in which we doubt ourselves. I have worked with top CEOs and their self-confidence sometimes wanes too. Here are four tools I have used to help me when my self-esteem sags:

One: Create "a brag file." Reserve a file for those cards, notes, letters, e-mails, etc., that tout your successes. When I am feeling a little down, I reach for my brag file. I have been doing this for twenty years, and I am happy to report that my brag file has gotten pretty thick over the years.

Two: Practice positive self-talk. When your inner critic rears its ugly head, tell him or her to shut up. Then remind him or her of your successes. There's something about personalizing our inner critics that works. I have one client who calls her inner critic Sybil.

Three: Dress for success. Our appearance often reflects the way we feel about ourselves. Some mornings when my confidence is waning, I purposely reach for one of my power suits. My whole demeanor changes when I slip on that suit, and I feel better about myself.

Four: Make sure you have a strong support system. People either give us energy or rob of us energy. Take a minute to review who you spend your time with. Look closely at each person. Does he or she build up or tear down your self-esteem? Surround yourself with people who believe in you.

Confident people are magnets for success. Why not try these simple suggestions and watch your self-confidence soar.

"The Career Engineer" Randy Siegel works with organizations to take high-potential employees and give them the leadership and communications skills they need to be successful. Electrify your career by subscribing to his monthly e-Newsletter "Stand in Your Power!" at =>http://www.powerhousecommunications.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Randy_Siegel
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Build-Your-Self-Esteem:-Secrets-of-Self-Confident-People&id=293475

January 27, 2008

What Are The Reasons For Low Self Esteem



What Are The Reasons For Low Self Esteem

What Are The Reasons For Low Self Esteem
By Ray Andrew

Most people have no idea, but there is a lot of people with low self esteem and confidence problems, it can be a child, an adolescent or an adult. There are 3 basic reasons for low self esteem heredity, environment and education, those are the factors that influence our life values and beliefs.

Sometimes a child has low self esteem because his parents had the same problem or were very shy, however there are ways to help the kid improve his confidence and have a healthier life.

Education plays an important role because the child learns some of the most important things at school, they start to interact with friends and acquires his own personality. However, you must be careful, because if the child is abused by friends at school either physically or mentally then it will affect his self confidence. But also education is important because they acquire values and beliefs that will persist for life.

Another very important factor is the environment, which is a very dynamic factor, the environment involves the home, school, friends, family and any other place that he goes. He needs to see good relationships between his parents and be treat it with respect, otherwise if he sees constant fights or people make fun of him, his self esteem will be affected.

However, the reasons for low confidence can also be acquire as an adult, a traumas in your life, a social embarrassment, a bad body image, a bad relationship and many other things can be a cause for low self esteem.

You need to constantly reinforce your self esteem by doing new things and getting new skills. You need to set goals and be proactive, don't depend on anyone, you can do many more things than you can imagine. Be a positive person, your thoughts have a powerful influence in your self image, if you are constantly criticizing your self you will have problems of confidence.

As you can see those are the most important reasons for low self esteem, i encourage you to get the most out of your life and find help if you need it, read motivational books, biographies and anything that increase your self confidence.

If you want to learn more tips on how to increase your self esteem and discover some important stories visit: why people have low self esteem

at http://www.selfesteemimprovementtips.com/

You can also read about: self improvement motivational speaker

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ray_Andrew
http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Are-The-Reasons-For-Low-Self-Esteem&id=940903

Common Low Self Esteem Signs



Common Low Self Esteem Signs

Common Low Self Esteem Signs
By Ray Andrew

We think that just a few people have a problem of low self esteem, but most people that you know have or had a problem of low self esteem at some point. It begins when you are a child, you start to learn new things, you have your first friends, values and beliefs some of them are good and some not.

Then as we grow up, we accepted those negative and positive beliefs about ourself, thinking that this is how you are and there is no way to change it. However, many negative beliefs that we acquire as kids are not true and we should change them.

So, how do we identify low self esteem signs?

There are many tings that you will see in a person with low self confidence, for example they don't want to go to a party because they don't want to see to many people. Usually they are afraid of what other people will say about them.

They tend to accept what everyone else says, if he does not agree with something, he will avoid conflict and not say his views or opinion on the topic.

Another sign is that they don't try new things or don't like to take risks because they don't trust themselves they think that they don't have the capabilities of achieving something difficult.

Also a person that depends on others to take decisions and that needs to be around people he loves to feel a little confident.

However although those are some signs of low self esteem, it can be a little complex in some cases, there are people that are not shy, that are productive, talk loud and impose their decisions, but inside they have a low self esteem, how can this be? You will notice, that maybe he yells at people and likes to feel strong between other people, he humiliates other, those kid of actions are from a person that has a low self esteem and needs to reinforce him self by feeling greater and stronger than other.

There are many other signs that people with low confidence have, however it can be improved, especially in a child, but also an adult person can make improvement by changing his self image, there are some books that talk about this like "psycho cybernetics".

There is a lot more that you can learn to understand the real causes and improve your self esteem, visit: books on low self esteem

at http://www.selfesteemimprovementtips.com

You can also read about: beauty pageants and body image self esteem

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ray_Andrew
http://EzineArticles.com/?Common-Low-Self-Esteem-Signs&id=940946

The Lack Of Adolescent Self Esteem



The Lack Of Adolescent Self Esteem

The Lack Of Adolescent Self Esteem
By Ray Andrew

I want to talk a little about how it affects adolescent self esteem, what are the possible causes and what you can do about it. There are many teenagers that have low self esteem and need help and support from their parents and friends.

The causes

There are different causes, it could be heredity in the case that the parents have it, it can also be education what cultural values and beliefs did you learn at school, some might not be positive and also your environment, what are the people that grow up with you, your parents, your friends, your teachers and anyone else that gave you advice.

Those are the most common factors that affect your adolescent self esteem. So those factors can be positive or negative, if you live in a difficult environment in your house, where your parents fight all the time and don't pay you attention, you might have low self esteem.

If in the school your teachers treat you bad and your friends made fun of you in any way, you might have the problem. Some people are not affected by negative views or criticism but other are very sensitive to them.

Is very important to encourage adolescent self esteem because is the age when they are developing and creating their own personality, they have some emotional problems either with school or with a love and it can affect a lot.

Remedies

If you have a problem of self confidence, its important that you talk to your friends or parents about it, just find someone that respect you and understand you, you will feel better.

There are different things that you can do to improve your self confidence, like doing exercise, meeting new people, learning new skills, reading positive affirmations, helping other people, taking your own decisions and improving your self image.

Most adolescents suffer from low self esteem at some point, but there is a lot that can be done to help them, visit us: self improvement rules

at http://www.selfesteemimprovementtips.com

You can also read about: quotes of self improvement

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ray_Andrew
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Lack-Of-Adolescent-Self-Esteem&id=941004

Increasing Your Level Of Self Esteem



Increasing Your Level Of Self Esteem

Increasing Your Level Of Self Esteem
By Kevin Sinclair

We all have a degree of self-esteem. It may be high, it may be low. Overall, it is the image that you have of yourself. Just as we each have an opinion on various things that we encounter in life, we also have various opinions on who we are as individuals. This perception includes what we think of ourselves physically, how we see ourselves as emotional beings, and what we think regarding our mentality. Many of us allow others to shape and form the mental image that we have of ourselves. As a result, low self-esteem occurs. Then, there are a few of us who simply feel negative towards ourselves. If you are one of these individuals, this information is sure to gear you right. Here, you will learn how to increase your level of self esteem.

The first thing that you should know and understand when it comes to increasing your level of self-esteem is that everyone has a right to experience high self-esteem. Each and every single one of us deserve the best in life, you included! Why should you allow yourself to see who you are in a negative light? Why should you allow what others think affect your ability to see yourself as a valuable and special person? If you suffer from a general lack of self-esteem, these are very important questions that you should consider asking yourself. You will quickly find that there is no true, logical reason for experiencing low self-esteem.

By taking the time and making the full effort to increase your level of self-esteem, you are opening up new doors of opportunity that will allow you to effectively live and succeed in life. Those that approach themselves, and focus on the positive attributes of the mind, body, and soul are those that are able to truly live life to its fullest! Those that are pessimistic, and sit back and allow negative thoughts to control their lives are literally stunting their growth in every aspect of their being. Do you want to slow yourself down? Do you like hitting walls at every turn? Do you want to be locked down by the grips of depression, pessimism, and failure? If not, do what is necessary to increase your level of self-esteem today!

One of the first things that you can do to increase your level of self-esteem is to take full responsibility for yourself. This means that you should take responsibility for your thoughts, actions, and reactions. Sure, there are some situations in which you are not responsible - but this is not true when it comes to the thoughts that you have, the things that you do, or the way that you react to things. It is important to ensure that you have positive thoughts; you act in a way that is beneficial to you and others, and that you react in a positive and upbeat way to things that occur in your life. By failing to take responsibility for these things, you will never understand the power of yourself. You will never gain an understanding that it is you that is responsible for the way you feel, the things that you do, and the way that you think.

The next thing that you can do to increase your level of self-esteem is to ensure that you surround and soak yourself in positive company, work, and things. You should ensure that you know and understand that negative situations with other people, negative situations at work, and negative lifestyle choices can really put a damper in your self-esteem. By ensuring that you are on top of your game, and that you are surrounded with positive things at all time, you will develop into a positive free thinker that enjoys everything about life. You will enjoy your friends, your family, your coworkers, your work, and most of all, you will enjoy YOU!

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kevin_Sinclair
http://EzineArticles.com/?Increasing-Your-Level-Of-Self-Esteem&id=941469

Healthy Self-Esteem Encourages Success - Unhealthy Self-Esteem Can Stop You In Your Tracks



Healthy Self-Esteem Encourages Success - Unhealthy Self-Esteem Can Stop You In Your Tracks

Healthy Self-Esteem Encourages Success - Unhealthy Self-Esteem Can Stop You In Your Tracks
By Sharon A. Michaels

How you feel about yourself and your ability to succeed is in large part determined by the level of your self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem encourages achieving and enjoying success. Unhealthy self-esteem can literally stop you in your tracks.

Let's start at the very beginning - Have you made time to write your definition of success? What does success mean to you? This is a great place to begin. Healthy self-esteem allows you to dream big and truly believe that your dreams are achievable. Unhealthy self-esteem is like placing a ceiling on your success.

I encourage you to find some quiet time and carefully write your definition of success. Throw all caution to the wind, come out of your comfort zone and dream BIG!

Unhealthy self-esteem limits your dreams of success. Think of limiting success as taking three steps forward and two steps back. The steps back come as you hit your head on that invisible internal ceiling of self-doubt.

Here are some signs of how healthy and unhealthy self-esteem can affect your BIG dreams of success --

1. Do you make time to enjoy your victories?

If you answered no - you probably don't give yourself enough credit for a job well done. Solution: Think of an obstacle you've overcome in your life. How about one that you've conquered through sheer persistence, belief and determination? How did that victory feel when you achieved it? Feeling good about yourself and proud of your accomplishments is all right - it's not bragging or being big on yourself. Pride in your successes enhances self-esteem and healthy self-esteem allows you to enjoy success.

2. Sometimes, do you feel as if success is a monumental responsibility?

If you answered yes - you're repelling success. Solution: Allow yourself the excitement and thrill of succeeding. Visualize yourself enjoying the rewards of success. What could/would having greater success do for your family, community and especially yourself? Equating success with negativity is making success an emotional struggle.

3. Do you often procrastinate when starting an important project or activity?

If you answered yes - which could you be more afraid of, success or failure? Fear of success often means being afraid of not being able to live up to expectations (yours, parents, society.) Fear of failure often means being afraid of not doing a job perfectly. Solution: Break the next project into "bite-sized" pieces. Give yourself one task to do a day. Reward yourself with something fun (ice cream, a good book) at the completion of each task.

No one's opinion of you is more important than your own! Does your self-esteem allow you to dream BIG and or is it placing a ceiling on your successes. Healthy self-esteem is your most important success tool. What have you done lately to enhance your self-esteem lately?

Sharon A. Michaels is an e-mentor to women who want to work for themselves. Sharon has over 20 years of business, speaking and writing experience on issues of ending self-sabotage, living in abundance and wealth and making money in network marketing. Sharon offers books, webinars, e-mentoring and tele-conferences on how to give yourself the power to succeed.

Sharon's new e-mentoring program is entitled "Breaking Through That Internal Glass Ceiling." Details are on the SharonIsMyMentor website.

You can learn more about Sharon Michaels at http://SharonIsMyMentor.com

Sharon A. Michaels is also the Editor of the Abundance and Wealth site on BellaOnline.com To read more of Sharon's articles and sign up for her weekly newsletter go to http://abundanceandwealth.bellaonline.com

Copyright Sharon A. Michaels - When using this article please give full credit to Sharon Michaels and use the bio as written above.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharon_A._Michaels
http://EzineArticles.com/?Healthy-Self-Esteem-Encourages-Success---Unhealthy-Self-Esteem-Can-Stop-You-In-Your-Tracks&id=946082

Self-Esteem Can Work Wonders For Your Self-Esteem



Self-Esteem Can Work Wonders For Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem Can Work Wonders For Your Self-Esteem
By Rick London

There is nothing better for self-esteem than building self-esteem. As strange as that sounds, it is that simple.

Many feel that a person is born with it, or maybe was popular in grade school and held onto that for the rest of their lives, always succeeding at whatever due to public support. If only that were so, we'd all have an excuse to frown and be depressed most the time.

In many cases the opposite happens. The slim-trim blonde high-school cheerleader who maybe relied totally on looks for self-esteem later marries, has children and stretch marks, not to mention her hair turned gray from dealing with the children and possibly irate husband and she gained a good bit of weight from the extra bon-bons passed around at her literary club.

Much is expected of children of successful and/or famous parents. One thinks this may give them a "free ride" onto the high self-esteem track when it usually does just the opposite. In fact, many rebel and get into destructive habits to find their own voice, and never grow out of it. No self-esteem found here

I will go back to basics. Self-esteem can do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem has diminished for whatever reason. My point is, it can be learned for the first time, or re-learned in a whole new fashion.

Were you the star-wrestler in high school with rippling muscles and worked out regularly and was applauded every time flexed? Did you make good grades and were used to positive feedback? Maybe this enhanced your esteem early in life. But now life is different. Perhaps you have a big money-making business that does not interest you and you want to sell it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her girlfriends. Look around now. Did the self-esteem go down?

The truth is, as adults, we more often than not, have to create our own self-esteem. And the closer we get to knowing our real selves, the closer we get to higher self-esteem. We no longer get all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. It builds by the little things we do. Try it, keep a journal, and look at it next year. Read the whole year and see how dramatically you have changed for the better.

It may mean, on a day you are feeling lowest, you pick yourself up and go to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Maybe a nursing home and visit with the elderly. Tutor a kid with his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it's physics. Maybe its the way the universe operates. But it works for many.

I fought low self-esteem for many years. Suddenly I looked up and I was fifty. But now, I'd had a major heart attack and I was keenly aware of my mortality. Heart attack? That was what other people had, not me. I guess everyone thinks that. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus' book in 'What About Bob?', baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. I helped other elderly people learn the Internet and even helped a few get into college.

All these little things worked toward building my self-esteem and I don't say build it back. I don't think I ever had it in the first place. So self-esteem is new to me, and a little goes a long way.

With all the obstacles and challenges I have endured in my life, and I am certain there are many others who have much tougher stories, if I can do it, anyone can. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone else, or both, with no thought of compensation.

In a decade, these little deeds have made me a better person and I've accomplished much in my personal and professional life. I have created ten websites, one of them the most visited on the internet. I create cartoons and manufacture cartoon products that make people feel better. (See, I've done a little more for my self esteem *and* got paid for it. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

Exposing ourselves to humor helps us be more light-hearted. We learn to "wear the world like a loose-fitting garment". If you do not feel you are a funny person, no problem. Just try to expose yourself to something or someone humorous as often as you can.In time dramatic changes can happen and you will like them. I know that I did and I'm a very slow student. Eventually, even for me, it happened and is happening still.

But don't do it all at once. Remember, baby steps, a little bit each day, and in a year, you'll look back wondering who that sad person was (that was once you).

Rick London began his career as an e-entrepreneur in 1997 as a cartoonist in an abandoned Ms. warehouse at age 42. A decade later he owns one of the most visited offbeat cartoon sites on the Internet (over 7.8 million visitors since 2005), Londons Times Cartoons http://www.londonstimes.us, numerous e-tail stores http://www.ricklondonwear, and http://www.ricklondoncollection.com among others.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rick_London
http://EzineArticles.com/?Self-Esteem-Can-Work-Wonders-For-Your-Self-Esteem&id=941832

How To Build Self Esteem After Addiction



How To Build Self Esteem After Addiction

How To Build Self Esteem After Addiction
By Gabriel J. Adams

If you're recovering from addiction, you should be so proud of yourself and your strength to endure what has surely been a difficult struggle. However, for so many of us on the path to recovery, the trap of slipping self esteem can be an easy one to fall into. By rebuilding your self esteem every day, you can improve your chances of staying on the path to recovery.

1. Go back over your achievements and strengths every day.

Start by making a list of all of your achievements, especially getting clean. Try to add to or at least read that list every day.

2. Don't compare yourself to others.

Always remember that you're an individual and no one is perfect. Instead of focusing on what other people are doing, stay concentrated on how well you're doing.

3. Accept compliments and cherish them.

Instead of turning away or dismissing compliments, accept them with a big thank you and a genuine smile. Especially when friends or family congratulate you on your sobriety, be proud.

4. Keep good company.

Hang out with people who are positive. If you have a negative influence or person in your life, step back and don't let them drag you down. As a recovering addict, you're on the biggest uphill climb of your life, you can't afford to be pulled down by someone else.

5. Keep active.

Regular exercise is a great to get your endorphins flowing, your body image soaring and your body rebuilding. If you feel healthy and look good, you can't help but feel great about yourself. Start with a short walk every day, gradually working your way up to taking on a more strenuous activity every day.

6. Spread the love.

You'd be amazed at how effective being nice is at boosting your own self esteem. Try giving one person a compliment each day or doing one nice thing for someone at least once a week. You'll not only feel better about yourself, but you'll begin to feel the positive blowback of your efforts.

Above all else though, take action, even if it's just a baby step, and don't let yourself get down if you can't do it all. Remember, if you can't squeeze in a 3-mile run, you can still take a 15-minute walk around the block.

Please visit What Is A Woman's Spiritual Retreat? and Addiction Recovery Retreats Texas

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gabriel_J._Adams
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Build-Self-Esteem-After-Addiction&id=944792

10 Secretly Powerful Ways To Explode Your Self Esteem And Banish Your Blushing



10 Secretly Powerful Ways To Explode Your Self Esteem And Banish Your Blushing

10 Secretly Powerful Ways To Explode Your Self Esteem And Banish Your Blushing
By NJ Brighton

1. Ask for your self confidence back for a minute

At some point in your life, you have experienced healthy levels of self confidence. If you did not, then you would not feel the need to acquire it now. It's like someone who has never experimented with drugs suddenly saying "I need another fix of heroin..."

Therefore, if you know you have experienced confidence, you now know that it is perfectly possible to experience it again. In other words, there is nothing in the way your brain is shaped, the way your brain thinks or the things you do with yourself from day to day that can actually physically stop you from feeling confident.

This might sound weird to you, but it's actually true.

Nothing has changed physically since you last felt like a million dollars that can possibly change the way your brain works. It can still feel confident, if you let it. So think back to a time when you felt confident and try to close your eyes and remember what you felt physically, what your voice sounded like and how people reacted to you.

The more you do this, the easier your mind will be able to re-trigger its' own ability to feel those forgotten emotions.

Just think of it like a broken down car that takes ages to start, the more you rev the engine and turn the key (and maybe get some people to push from behind), the quicker you'll be up to full speed and onto your journey safely home.

Be as detailed about this experience as you can so that it is vivid in your mind. Refer to this experience to remind you that you have been confident before and will be again!

2. Chart Your Winnings

Write down things you've been successful at in the past, even earlier today. It doesn't have to be winning a marathon or landing on the moon, just things that you executed successfully. Perhaps you finished all your work on time, made someone smile, cooked a great dinner or just got home in one piece (which is a success in this day and age!)

In other words, success is anything that you've done that has made you proud of yourself. But what if you haven't done a single thing all day or all week/month or year (highly unlikely)...then DO something tonight. Clean the house, cook someone dinner, give someone a gift, write a poem, learn something by reading a book...whatever, just do it...today.

Record all your successes in a book, album or folder. Tuck it away within reaching distance of where you frequent. Perhaps your home office, your computer, T.V, workspace or bedside table?

When your confidence is low, read your own success stories to remind you that you have been successful in the past, and of course that you have the ability to be as (if not more) successful in the future...never stop improving yourself.

You have the ability to improve all areas of your life, no matter who you are or what you do. Self improvement is the source of every good thing that enters your life, and is responsible for every negative thing that leaves your life. Write that down...

3. Visualize yourself with success and high self esteem.

See the person you would be if you were a success from the outside, study him/her, how they walk, breath, talk and etc. Now try to be one with that person in your mind, it will be hard to do at first, but if you make this a daily assignment for yourself, it will get easier, and it will work wonders for your self esteem and self confidence.

4. Set goals for you, not them

Do it for yourself, plan your own successes, and reward yourself, at least emotionally by praising yourself whenever you achieve some sort of success or small step towards success. Don't forget, success and personal development/achievement is made up of many small steps. Don't discount the small steps as "not quite making it work". I have known people 2 simple steps away from becoming millionaires, yet passed everything up at the last two steps. Don't follow their path!

Make small achievable goals to begin with, it is a great confidence booster to achieve a goal, no matter how small it may seem to others. However, do not settle for overall goals that are too small. You will never get out of bed each day if your goal is just to "get through the day" at work.

5. Speak with your limbs.

We've all been in social situations where someone leaps into a room, makes eye contact and starts chatting with everyone around. There are no averages in this world, just people who believe and people who want to believe. Make your choice. If you learn to believe in yourself, don't even think about who you are or what people might think...because you don't need to know that. All you need to know is that you are the person that has every right to walk this floating rock as the next.

In my case, I couldn't care less whether you're a college drop out or the prime minister, you better respect me or I'll turn my back on you and take my would-be respect for you elsewhere my friend...be tough, but not rude...

First impressions count. Practise good posture. Imagine that you're being pulled by a string going all the way from your toes to the top of your head. And whenever you enter a room, don't walk in as if you're not welcome. No-one else does, and you're no different. Stride in, make eye contact and be the first to introduce yourself. Don't ever look down as if you've done something wrong, those people in that room are most likely dying for someone with a bit of spark to liven up the atmosphere. Let that be your job...let them have what they need of you!

6. Be comfortably dressed

I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing unflattering clothes. The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the same parts of your body that you're trying to hide! Those baggy T-shirts and jeans don't do any justice for anyone, male or female.

7. Keep learning new skills

Aside from keeping your mind sharp , be a life student. If traditional education is something you are interested in, then do it. But don't just do it to get a pay rise...do it because you want to...and because you want to improve yourself.

If college isn't your thing, just do what I do and read books. Fiction, non-fiction, whatever you decide. The point is that reading has been extensively proven to increase our levels of intelligence, grammar and punctuality.

With these improved qualities under your belt, you will have no problems conversing with people in more and more social situations.

Nothing is stopping you from learning a new language, taking a new hobby class, learning some new technical skills, etc. Write a date in you diary for the start of you new learning term. Stick to it and do it! I promise 1005 on my life that it WILL make you feel so much better about yourself (and will give you something to talk about in those previously awkward social situations).

8. Stand up and fight, dammit...

Don't be a doormat, it destroys the soul! If you don't speak up, you will allow others not only to make assumptions, but also to push you towards situations where you feel even less comfortable. Once you start speaking up for yourself, you will have more control over where you want to be, when you want to be there and with whom.

Start small (complaining when food tastes bad or someone ignores you) and work your way up to an opinionated force to be reckoned with (commanding people to listen to your valid points, asking for a pay rise etc).

Again, this is a natural emotional ability you have. For example if you were in court, being falsely accused of murder, potentially facing life imprisonment...would you just look down at the floor and worry about shouting "No you are wrong!"?

9. Take small steps to big success

Take each day at a time, otherwise you will become discouraged. The pint is not to think small and conquer small, but to think of an overall huge goal and then work backwards to where you are now. Break each step down into actionable pieces. Before you know it, you will be on top and may even feel a little dizzy from the height!

10. Ignore the negative

But when it arrives, use it to make yourself indestructible by learning from your mistakes, which others let beat them down. Some of the riches people in the world (apart from lottery winners) were only able to achieve such success from making hundreds of mistakes. Put your ego to one side, let your mistakes feed you with powerful messages to improve your life.

If you and I were racing through a jungle full of Lions and wild hunters, and I told you that you were going to be eaten and I would survive, what do you think I would tell you to allow you to live?

Well, the truth is you wouldn't have a clue. That is, unless you made that trip everyday. And there it is, I now tell you that I make this trip everyday, amongst the Lions and the other hunters, across the lake and the swamps, through the bushes and around the traps.

How did I not get eaten? I learned from many generations of people who got savaged, lost friends and family and barely survived to tell the tale...

So because I have made this journey everyday, learning from others and from my own experience, I can tell you which way to go. Now you will be safe...

There are many theories for a blushing free life. I can only hope you are not led to the ones that cost you more time, pain and discomfort than the original problem of blushing itself. Instead, I would encourage you to visit http://www.facialredness.co.uk and see how you can block out and stop facial blushing for good with my unique system before the spiral goes too far. (Plus you can still grab a special free report to boost your self esteem in just one weekend... hurry, it won't be there for ever!)

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=NJ_Brighton
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Take Back Your Self Empowerment



Take Back Your Self Empowerment

Take Back Your Self Empowerment
By Sheri Falcone

Have you gone through periods of your life when you felt helpless and hopeless about your circumstances and destiny? I believe we all have.

Many of us have experienced the tragedy of physical or emotional abuse, broken relationships or the death of loved ones. The first thing we want to do is blame others or outside influences for our state of mind, financial stresses, relationship stresses or just life.

It's so easy to blame the abusive person or the person who broke our hearts for destroying our ability to love or trust again. You're placing on others the responsibility of your life, your emotions, your self worth, and happiness. However, blame is the easy way out and is a very disempowering emotion.

When we are thinking of making changes in our lives, we have a tendency to look externally. We think if we change our outsides, then we will be happy. We are waiting for the circumstances to change before we can be happy. However, true happiness comes from inside out; taking control of our own lives, being responsible for our own emotions, making the right choices for us.

The simple choice of taking responsibility for your self and life is the first step towards picking up the pieces of your life and starting over. When you focus your attention on making positive changes in your life, the constraints of the past are removed and you can be, do or have anything you desire. The power of deliberate positive thoughts will literally change your reality.

True empowerment is not just about taking control, fighting injustices or passing new laws that we think society needs to change the world. Empowerment starts within us first. It begins with our willingness and acceptance to be responsible for what is happening in our own lives.

I'm sure at some point in our life; we are all face with challenges and adversity. Some of us want to point the finger at others or outside situations, while others own their responsibility, making necessary changes to grow and learn from those challenges and get on with our lives. The sooner we realize this lesson, the sooner we will find life happier and with less stress. The way we handle our pain and these challenges and let it transform us makes the difference between winning and losing life's battles. The realization of this and the appropriate action makes you the true master of your own destiny. Isn't this what we all desire?

So I say to those who are still playing the blame game, it is time to take back your own empowerment and start living the life you so richly deserve. A life of choice and freedom.

About the Author: Sheri Falcone is a novice author, student of personal growth, and entrepreneur who enjoys helping others become truly empowered and achieve their dreams. She has turned her passion into a lucrative personal development, home business, http://www.setnolimits.info This business system provides all the tools you will need to create greater prosperity and joy in your life. Her enthusiasm is contagious and she believes laughter and appreciation are our emotional healers.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sheri_Falcone
http://EzineArticles.com/?Take-Back-Your-Self-Empowerment&id=947155