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12 Step Quotes and Sayings, XI

12 Step Quotes and Sayings, XI
By Michael Z

"If I'm feeling hysterical, it must be historical." Before recovery, I often wondered why little things caused such a big reaction in me. Somebody driving too slow, other people's comments, little things not going my way - these events often caused big reactions in me and left me confused and with a painful emotional hangover.

Today though, I've learned to look beyond these events and to what they trigger in me. And what I uncover are the old wounds and hurts from long ago - the historical causes of my hysterical reactions. And once I'm able to see events as the 'buttons' they are, my real emotional recovery can begin. Today I use questions to help identify and heal old wounds. "What's really behind this reaction?" "What can I do right now to sooth myself?" "Where's the recovery here?" All these wonderful questions are tools I now use to help me heal and so avoid these bigger than life reactions. Today I uncover, discover and heal old hurts.

"My recovery changed when I forever gave up the hope of having a different past." I have spent a lot of time thinking about my past. Alternately feeling sorry for myself or being outraged at the wrongs - real or imagined - that were done to me, a constant theme in my thinking is how much different, better, happier I would be if only I hadn't had these parents, or stepparents, or those siblings, or on and on. But it will never be different. My past will be my past always, and, good or bad, it is uniquely mine. When I got to the program I was taught that in recovery we stop fighting everybody and everything, in other words we surrender. One definition of surrender is to lay down our arms and join the winning side. By surrendering my old feelings about my past, I start to see it in a new light, and a new miracle has begun.

By working my program, I am able to make peace with my past, to look at my part and see the lessons and gifts it has to offer. In time, I come to see how valuable my experiences are, and how I can use them to help another. "One's deepest wounds, integrated, become our greatest power." Once I have healed my past, I begin to see how it can help heal another.

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The Burden of a Double Life

The Burden of a Double Life
By David N Lowry

In my work with sexually compulsive and addictive people, I have seen the collapse that enviably comes from living a secretive double life. On the outside, these people appear to be very successful; however, there is another side of their lives that is carefully hidden from view. These sides of their lives are spent in a compulsive acting-out of sexual behaviors. Because most sexual addicts are ashamed of what they do, they expend great amounts of energy cultivating this secret side by hiding and lying about their activities. What is not considered by most, until it is too late, is the enormous amount energy it takes to maintain a secret life. Someone once described it to me in the following way, "It's like trying to hold a life raft under water!"

Lying

Lying plays a big role in the sexually addictive personality and it takes enormous energy. Dr. Affie Adagio says that, "lying is the chief symptom of an addictive person." A sexually compulsive person resorts to lying because he or she wishes to keep their behavior secret from those they love the most. They do this because they fear a loss of respect from those that love them; or worse, that those they love will leave them. Thus, they resort to lying when others notice that something isn't "right" in their lives.

It takes a lot of lies to successfully explain the "unusual" events that happen to arouse suspicion. The sexually compulsive will lie about the websites that show up in history folders and tell more lies to explain the sexual pop-ups that keep infecting their computers. They find ways to explain the high volume of unsolicited sexually oriented e-mails that arrives in their in-boxes. They invent reasons to explain missing time and late arrivals at home.

Addicts lie to themselves that what they are doing "isn't so bad." When caught viewing a pornographic website, they may insist that it happened by accident and through no fault of their own. When confronted about the things they have been doing, they continue to cover their behaviors and deny wrong doing.

To an addict, honesty becomes an enemy. But, the problem with lying is that one must cover one lie with another. It's hard to remember all of the lies that have been told. Soon, it is obvious to almost everyone, except the addict, that their lives don't square with what they say. Sadly, unless the sexaholic seeks treatment, their lying will become as compulsive as their sexual behaviors.

Sneaking Around

In addition to lying, sexual addicts also spend an enormous amount of energy sneaking around. Due to the nature of their habit, most will wait until family members leave the house so that they may drink in their pornographic images; or, they may keep late night hours, on the pretense of work, so that when others are asleep, they might feed their insatiable desire. Many open secret credit cards accounts, obtain secret post office boxes, or buy a secret cell phone so that they might hide what they are doing from those who know them. The addict will sneak off to different parts of the city, where they think no one knows them, so that they might books, magazines, videos and sex toys. Some will constantly find reasons to go to another town to indulge their fantasies.

Covering their tracks

Because addicts thrive on secrecy, they must constantly find ways of hiding DVD's, videotapes, magazines, secret computer files and e-mail. They intercept the mail for cable bills, cell phone bills, or other receipts that might serve to incriminate them. They hide as much evidence as possible in the hope that no one will ever find out what they have been doing! (As a side note: children often find these hidden things and lose their innocence as they do so. Addicts may never know the harm they have caused when their children discover their deep dark secrets who were ill equipped to handle sexually explicit information.)

For some, the hiding continues by obtaining software that eliminates evidence of websites that have been visited from history files. If there has been cheating, addicts make up excuses and alibis to tell loved ones about where they have been and what they have been doing. The addict's goal of all this deceptive behavior is to try and create an outward appearance of normality.

Hiding shame and guilt

It takes an enormous energy for an addict to maintain the hyper-vigilance necessary for keeping up with all of the lying and hiding necessary to maintain an appearance of normality. But, more energy is expended to offset the guilt and shame that is built up in the psyche. Many sexually compulsive people are convinced that they cannot share their shame with anyone. Each time they give in to their compulsion to act out, they feel a part of themselves dying on the inside. As it builds up over time, this guilt and shame can have crippling emotional effects. When any good thing happens in their life, they feel as if they do not deserve it. The sexually compulsive person always wonders what others would think about them if they "only knew the things they were doing."

There is a way out

As mentioned earlier, the energy it takes to live a double life is similar to the energy it would take to hold a life raft underwater. Obviously, this cannot be done indefinitely. For a sexual addict, the raft is going to surface in one of two ways. Either their lives will fully unravel when, through some failure, others discover their secrets; or, they can seek the necessary help that will restore their sanity.

The important first step is to realize that one can't solve a sexually compulsive problem on their own. The truth is, once something reaches a compulsive state, help will be needed. The right help might be a minister, counselor or psychologist. Or, it may well be a 12 step group or another person who has found success overcoming the same struggle.

Secrets are like burdens; the bigger the secret, the heavier the burden. We were not made to live double lives. When one has the courage to stop lying to themselves and others by seeking help, the burden begins to lift.

David Lowry, Ph.D. is a writer for the Purity Project in Oklahoma City. He works with individuals who struggle with sexual compulsions and writes articles on sexual addiction and recovery. Visit his website at http://www.purityprojectokc.com for more helpful articles and resources and a toll free phone number.

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How to Start Healing From Porn

How to Start Healing From Porn
By David N Lowry

Addiction to pornography is a much larger problem than most of us realize. The latest estimates indicate that between 40 to 60 percent of all men, and 35 percent of all women, have some sort of issue with it. In my work, I have found that people who have these compulsions are very reticent to talk about problem with pornography to anyone, much less someone they know. Most commonly, they assume that their problem is a unique one and that they suffer alone. Because of this reticence to seek help, their problems often develop into deeper and more serious compulsive behaviors. If not treated, the compulsive behavior develops into a compulsion or full blown addiction. The harm of pornography addiction is much greater than the viewing of sexual images. For many, the desire for sexual stimulation increases to such a point that the mind becomes totally fixated in hyper-sexualized thinking to the point that they can think of little else. At this point, every situation becomes sexualized--often inappropriately. For some, the desire for sexual stimulation grows to a point where risky, and potentially illegal, behavior occurs. If you, or someone you know, struggle with pornography, here are some helpful guidelines to help you start your healing.

ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

One of the hardest things for any one to do is admit that they have a problem. Here is a description of someone I have worked with. His marriage was falling apart; he was looking at porn multiple times a day--sometimes for as long as four to six hours; he was staying up late at night and not getting enough sleep; he was constantly paranoid that someone would discover his problem; he was hiding tapes, files DVDs and magazines and lying about how he was spending his time--all the while carrying tremendous guilt and shame. Yet, when I first met him, his words to me were: "I'm not sure that I have a problem!" That's the power of denial.

Perhaps you may wonder if you have a problem; or, perhaps you wonder if your problem is "all that serious." My answer to you is this: "If you feel worry, guilt , or shame about what you've been doing--you have a problem and should seek help." If you can admit that you have a problem you are ready for the next step.

STOP TRYING TO SOLVE THIS ALONE

Isolation is one of the biggest contributors to a pornography problem. As long as a person continues to try and solve this problem by themselves, they'll keep getting the same empty results. Pornography is a problem that is deeply rooted in emotional blind spots that requires others to adequately help them. In short, people who remain in hiding can't be helped.

A person I worked with says it best: "One of the reasons I could never be free of pornography was because I kept my problems to myself. I didn't tell anyone--my wife, my best friends, my minister (especially the church people!) anyone! I thought they would all judge me. And, I couldn't tell those people I knew that really cared for me because I didn't want to disappoint them and I was doubtful that they would be able to help me. I felt isolated and alone--and I was! Added to this was my pride which kept me from seeking help from other avenues like support groups. I didn't want to be a part of a support group because I thought they were all losers and perverts (who was judging whom?) and I worried about my privacy."

Though isolation is the enemy of healing, this does not mean that a person should carelessly confide in anyone about their problem. It's important to find a trustworthy person with an ability to help bring about healing.

ADMIT YOUR PROBLEM TO SOMEONE ELSE

There is an old saying in 12 step programs that "You are as sick as your secrets." It is this secrecy that keeps the addictive cycle going. To be healed, it is important to find someone in whom you can divulge everything. Many people worry that they don't know such a person. They also worry that others will look down upon them for what they might reveal. Finding a person might be easier than one thinks. There are numbers of 12 step programs in every community as well as ministers and counselors --all of whom would be willing to help. Secrets lose their power when the right people know enough to help. As secrets lose their power, the healing begins.

RADICAL AMPUTATION

Next, it is absolutely necessary to get rid of every pornographic material, hard or soft, in one's possession. To start the process, destroy all pornographic: tapes, DVDs, files, magazines and computer files. Please do not throw them away--destroy them! Remember, as long as these materials exist in an intact state, they can be accidentally discovered by someone else. Thus, it is absolutely imperative that the materials be destroyed. Next, cancel all subscriptions to pay television channels, pornographic websites, sexy magazines--even sports or health magazines that regularly feature sexy models. If private cell phones are being used for sex chats, cancel the phone. If post office boxes are being used to receive private mail, close the mail account. Go through personal libraries, videotapes and DVD collections to make certain that nothing exists that could be used to feed lust--this includes R rated movies. Be ruthless in eliminating these temptations! Once these materials are destroyed, the next step is to create a new set of operating boundaries.

CREATE NEW BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are the fences we intentionally erect to keep harmful things away from us. By creating new boundaries, we learn how to avoid situations that used to trigger us. This process takes time and is improved by trial and error. Even so, most everyone can identify some of their more obvious temptations. For instance, if a person knows they can't resist buying pornographic magazines at the convenience store, they make a boundary that they will never visit a convenience store when they are alone. If a person can't keep from acting out when they alone in the house, they must avoid being home alone until their thirst for pornography greatly diminishes. Each person is different, and what triggers one may not impact another at all. For instance, one person may have little or no temptation to buy pornographic magazines; but, can easily be tempted to watch sexually explicit pay per views, HBO and Cinemax shows. In such a case, an important boundary would be to cancel these cable services. If a person is always tempted to buy pay per view movies, they must change their cable subscription service or drop it altogether.

Some people trigger much easier when they are hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT). Learning to be aware of these physical and emotional states can help one avoid unnecessary triggers that lead to acting out.

GET AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

The studies are in and it is hard to argue with the results. The recovery rate for sexual addictions is near zero for those who don't have an accountability system in place. For those in an effective program that includes an accountability component, the recovery rate increases to near 80 percent. Accountability is the process of talking daily to specially selected person who knows about the addict's problems. An accountability partner will always ask their mentee how successful they have been in staying "sober" for that day and offer suggestions for improvement. An accountability partner should be someone of the same sex who has overcome a similar difficulty through a recognized program. It is not recommended that spouses serve as an accountability partner.

For myself, I have an accountability partner named Rick. We visit with each other about four times a week--about almost everything. Our conversations usually last from 5 to 10 minutes. Though Rick and I are very different people, we both are deadly serious about being free from pornography and sexual impurity. Rick helps me see things from a different viewpoint and holds me accountable for my behavior. I, in turn, serve as an accountability partner for several other people. My job is to help my mentees successfully overcome their problems with pornography by caring enough to ask them the hard questions about whether or not they have been staying sexually pure.

INSTALL REPORTING SOFTWARE

One important boundary, that deserves a mention of its own, is internet reporting software. Because the internet is one of the larger temptations for pornography, it is almost mandatory that a person who struggles with pornography install specially designed filtering and reporting software for each computer that they use. Filtering software keeps the more obvious pornographic sites from appearing in the browser. Reporting software allows one to use their computer as they wish while reporting each site visited to their accountability partner. Most people, who are serious about healing from pornography, find that this greatly eliminates the desire to visit pornographic websites.

SET-UP CONSEQUENCES WHEN YOU FAIL

The second part of the boundaries equation is consequences. Boundaries won't work if there are no consequences for breaking them. In the healing process, consequences serve as a behavior modification component . It works like this: the mentee, and the accountability partner, mutually agree to a consequence that will be imposed should the mentee fail in their responsibilities. The consequence needn't be overly harsh or drastic; but, it should be something that the mentee would rather avoid. A person I know agrees to pick up trash along the highway for two hours should he fail. Another guy I know makes a monetary contribution to a political party he despises. Obviously, the point is of the behavioral consequence is to modify the mentee's behavior and hold them accountable for what they do. Consequences shouldn't be considered as punishments--just a form of behavior modification and motivation.

BE WILLING TO SET ASIDE TIME EACH DAY TO ADDRESS YOUR PROBLEMS

Ignorance is an enemy and knowledge a friend. For those addicted to lust and inappropriate sexual behaviors, it is important to devote a small amount of time each day to reading recovery literature or attending recovery meetings. There is a wealth of materials available to help people understand the problem of addiction and what to do about it. Besides increasing knowledge, the reading of recovery materials helps one to avoid triggers and make better life decisions.

DEVELOP YOUR SPIRITUALITY

This is, perhaps, the most important point of all. It is not an over exaggeration to state that for each person I have worked with, I have found that their initial view of God compounded their emotional pain and kept them from finding a pathway to healing. It is my experience that when one feels rightly related to their God, their healing is greatly accelerated. Though it may surprise to some, I have known well educated sexual addicts who were ministers, long time Bible teachers, and faithful church attendees--all of whom had an impressive Bible knowledge. However, in each case, none of them were able to feel connected, in a positive way, to their God. In these cases, a skewed view of God as a condemning and ruthless deity probably did more to keep them from healing as any other factor. In my experience, it is never God who is the problem--it is the understanding we carry about Him that makes the difference. When we relate rightly with God, the problems in our lives begin to go away.

Some of the first steps I use with my mentees are designed to cause them to see God in new and different ways. We study the Psalms as well as the wisdom of the Proverbs. We spend daily time in meditation and prayer. I encourage people to study and learn anew what God is like. Spirituality is perhaps, the most powerful tool of all in healing and transformation. Ironically to some, the more a person perceives the love of God, the more likely they are to quit pornography and be healed of all compulsive behaviors.

Once again, the steps to healing a porn problem include: admitting the problem, seeking help, setting boundaries, accountability, creating consequences for failure, spending time studying recovery materials and developing a new sense of spirituality. Each of these are powerful tools that one can use to heal themselves from the damages of porn. For those who are willing to do all of these things, problems with porn can truly become a thing of the past.

David Lowry, Ph.D. is a writer for the Purity Project in Oklahoma City. He works with individuals who struggle with sexual compulsions and writes articles on sexual addiction and recovery. Visit his website at http://www.purityprojectokc.com for more helpful articles and resources and a toll free phone number.

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Recognizing Subtle Addictions

Recognizing Subtle Addictions
By Denise Dema

When we think of the word addiction we usually think of the obvious ones like food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, TV, spending, work, sex, etc., but many people are not aware of the more subtle addictions. These addictions are often so covert and pervasive that they are invisible to us. Yet these subtle addictions may have a negative impact on us, sabotaging our professional and/or personal relationships as well as our lives on a daily basis. Many people are aware of the fact that addictions are used to avoid pain, and in a way to medicate our feelings in order to function in a manner that is within our comfort level. The reason we do this is because it is easier to make the pain go away than it is to deal with the negative feelings or issues at hand. This is not the way your life was intended to be! You can learn to live a more fulfilling life, naturally, through behavior modification.

You might want to honestly look inside and see what some of your covert addictions are. Are you addicted to blaming others for your unhappy feelings? Are you addicted to a relationship that has run its course but you are still in it? Do you use anger or tears, attempting to make others responsible for you? Are you addicted to illness as a way to avoid personal responsibility for yourself? Are you more focused on trying to control the way others feel about you than you are in taking care of your own feelings? How much of your time is spent daydreaming about what you want to say to others or how you wish life was instead of actually being accountable for yourself? How often do you explain and defend yourself rather than being open to learning? How often do you get angry or withdraw to avoid dealing with your present circumstances? Are you doing things that are habitual with your body and or emotions that are not allowing you to be healthy? Is your thinking addictive? Do you have repetitive thought patterns?

To understand if you have an addiction, you need to pay attention to your thought processes which create your behavioral patterns on a daily basis, in order to see if they are motivated by emotions in spite of adverse consequences. When logic is replaced with anger (with or without justification), the result is the loss of one's well being. Any behavior that is outside of being accountable for your actions, taking care of yourself, and being open to learning about yourself and others, is addictive in nature. All addictive behaviors are attempts to control and suppress rather than learn, governing all that we do. If you are always defending, explaining, resisting, and withdrawing from decisions and situations, then all of your actions are attempts of getting approval and/or avoiding pain. Take a look at whether you react or respond to others. When we respond we are taking responsibility for our situations instead of reacting with emotional repetitive thought patterns that do not serve us.

In order to HEAL you have to FEEL and become aware of your addictions, which is the beginning of learning to release them from your life. Embrace your life the way it was meant to be and deal with your addictions no matter how pervasive they have been. You can achieve your full potential and live a healthy, loving life, without fear when you are able to release all that has been negatively controlling your life and the lives of others that are in it. Changing your thoughts - changes your life. To quote one of my favorite authors, James Allen, "Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not long remain so if you perceive an Ideal and strive to reach it".

Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach who has over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. To learn more about the author and her practice please visit http://www.denisedema.com

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Email Addiction - How to Break Free

Email Addiction - How to Break Free
By Christian Shire

When was the last time you checked your e-mail?
Did you check your e-mail as soon as you woke up this morning? E-mail is becoming an integral part of everyone's work and social routine, but it's also become compulsive behavior for some people who check it every 10 minutes. Since every desk in every office now has computer on it, it's difficult to get away from your Inbox. But what if you can't get out of your Inbox?

Is it a Compulsion?
Many people complain that they can't sit and work for more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time without their mind wandering and their mouse drifting toward their Inbox. There is an important difference between someone who is simply staying up-to-date with their clients or friends, and someone who feels helpless without knowing if they have e-mail. Compulsive behavior is a clinical diagnosis and this diagnosis can be applied to people who can't stop themselves from engaging in harmful behavior to themselves or others.

Reward Circuitry in the Brain
There is a potential for people to develop an addiction to e-mail as it offers some validation and reinforcement of self-confidence and importance. When people train animals, the most effective way to get them to do something is not by rewarding them with treats every time they do something correctly. The reward-and-punishment mechanism is more complex than that. The best way to condition this behavior is rather to reward only sometimes and even then only randomly. Studies have found that this regimen actually makes animals work harder for their reward and persist longer even when there is no reward.

Perhaps this reinforcement truth can explain people's addiction to constantly checking their e-mail. Even though we don't have new e-mail every time we check it, every time we do check it, there is a possibility that there could be. Next time, we may be rewarded with a forward from a friend of a cute kitten, or an e-mail from a friend or client, a message that reinforces one's place and value in the world.

Breaking Free
There are some options for those who constantly check their e-mail, although all take a little self-discipline.

You can change your settings on your e-mail to only notify you every hour or two if you get something in your Inbox. Or you can use the punishment-reward theory and deny yourself coffee on your next break if you check too often. Even though you may only be spending two minutes to check the status of your Inbox, if you're doing that 20 times and it can add up. In some cases, professional help is the only way real changes can be made.

Have an internet addiction - you can get better; learn how http://www.choosehelp.com/internet-addiction

Learn of the harms and pleasures of virtual living at http://www.troubleblog.com/internet-addiction/2008210/

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Video Game Addiction - The Seduction of Virtual Life

Video Game Addiction - The Seduction of Virtual Life
By Christian Shire

The Seduction

The internet can be an escape from the world for many people, and for some people it can be an escape from themselves.

The internet has become a playground for many people to act out fantasies and take on new identities that were not possible before. This relatively new technology is allowing people to indulge in fantasies in much more sophisticated and "real" ways. The internet provides the dangerous combination of anonymity, impunity and no accountability.

Online Fantasies

Some studies show that as many as two-thirds of people who socialize online change their age or gender - But it is also often taken further. A quiet teenager in an online multiplayer game could be a powerful warlock and rule over a large virtual realm. Or an adult man could pretend to be a 14 year old boy talking to adolescent girls online. Either way, spending hours a day in this virtual identity, disconnected from reality, can lead to skewed and unbalanced real identities.

Addiction?

Although some hesitate to call it an addiction, there are clearly some people who have developed a strong dependency. Often times, getting overly involved in a secondary self is just an outlet for more serious issues. Problems at home or school or shyness and social phobia can lead people to find ways to live a life free of these stresses and anxieties. By pretending to be someone else, one can feel empowered and boost their self esteem while being acknowledged by anonymous others also in the system.

This can have a negative effect, as a person finds that they can relate less and less to those around them. As people spend more time online becoming deeply involved in a virtual identity, they can start to associate themselves more with their online selves than their real selves. Feelings of isolation can be compounded and the only friends one has to turn to are those who know you in the fantasy world.

No one knows the extent of the problem. Many people who get engrossed in another identity online will be spending much of their time in their room or a basement or a dark corner of an internet café. The relationships that can develop through online chatting and socializing can be very real and satisfying, but without face to face interaction, there is no stability or framework for trust.

If young people become too used to interacting online where anything goes and they can be anybody, it can handicap their real social skills for the future. Online fantasy role playing can be a unhealthy escape for some people who need to confront and cope with more serious issues.

Do you play the game, or does it play you? Need to quit - Learn how http://www.choosehelp.com/internet-addiction

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Intervention And Addiction - How To Get An Addict To Rehab

Intervention And Addiction - How To Get An Addict To Rehab
By Tibor A. Palatinus

They said 'yes' to going to detox and rehab.But they don't go to rehab! What happened - Are they lying to you, again?

After a drug or alcohol addicted person admits that help is possible and that they are willing to be helped in getting off of drugs and alcohol, your help is needed to get them into rehab. Controlling the situation and getting them to arrive at Detox and Rehab will help you get YOUR life back.

Here is a real story from an addict who wanted to go to rehab, but couldn't make it.

I could not quit on my own as I had tried several times before and failed. It was then I made the decision. The following day I sat my parents down and told them everything. They were devastated but told me that they were there to support and help me through it, so my mom looked after me for 2 days when I was doing my withdrawal at home, but by the second evening I had had enough and took the easy way out once again and started using.

Taking Control Again

Getting the person's life back under control is the goal of most drug and alcohol rehab programs. While most would agree that being in control of one's life is vital to succeed, many addicts don't want to admit they've lost control.

People take drugs for many reasons. Strangely, one reason some users take drugs is for a sense or feeling of power or control they are falsely given by the drugs or alcohol.

How Addiction is Failure to Control

You might be surprised at how many times an addicted person has tried to control their drug use. The addict is continuing and re-starting their drug use over and over again. They have several or hundreds of reasons why they continue using drugs.

• The big reason they are going back to drugs is that drugs provide a temporary buffer against the pressures of real life
• The drug abuser freely chose to do drugs to escape life at one time
• Life's realities are awaiting the user every time they even temporarily stop using drugs
• These realities can scare an addict back to drug use and right out of the most serious commitment to a sober and clean life

Addicts Want Better Control

Control is an ability to begin, change or stop some action. Control is accomplished by taking some action from start to conclusion or moving an idea to fulfillment no matter the difficulties.

How to Talk to an Addict and get them to Arrive in Rehab

1. Ignore the addict's justifications for continuing to use drugs or alcohol
2. Verbally acknowledge their communication, but stay on target and on topic: what are they really trying to control?
3. Often a person will go to tears when they tell you of a problem real to them. It may seem trivial. Acknowledge their efforts. Tell them they need help
4. Keep on track. Get them to the detox and rehab program that will rehabilitate them. Only Rehab will get that problem handled for life

The drug addicted person or alcoholic needs you more than you may realize. They need you to take charge of their lives and actually get them to that detox and rehab center.

Getting Help

How does one control an out of control situation? If this seems too much to tolerate or you've already had failures in getting another to rehab, you need help. Keep reading our articles for the best help on drug intervention and drug rehab tips. We want your loved ones off drugs and alcohol and leading productive contributive lives.

Here is a success from a graduate of one of the programs we refer people to.

When I arrived it was very strange for me. After I was here for a little bit I got used to it. I slowly started to change and apply the technology I was learning. This program has given me all the tools I was learning. This program has given me all the tools I need to leave here and be successful. This program has taught me how to handle myself, my friends and the situations I will encounter.

75% of our clients end addiction, but they have to arrive in rehab before they can be helped.

Are you looking for more information and help on how to end addiction? Go to: for more details on drug rehab programs that work

Tibor A. Palatinus, CCDC, is the Director of a Drug / Alcohol Detox and Rehab Consultancy which specializes in Referring Clients to Drug-free Detox and Rehab Programs which End Addiction for Life.

PS: To subscribe to our free newsletter giving our Latest Discoveries go to: http://www.detox-narconon.org/family-training/subscribe.php

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Alcohol and Post Acute Withdrawal

Alcohol and Post Acute Withdrawal
By Samantha James

Recovery or sobriety causes a lot of stress, particularly in the beginning. Post acute withdrawal (PAW) results from the damage the alcoholic has taken to his or her nervous system combined with the stress of having to cope with life without alcohol.

Post acute withdrawal will set in three to six months after the user has taken his or her last drink. The actual recovery from nervous system damage from alcohol takes 6 to 24 months after the drinking has ceased.

The most obvious symptom that PAW has set in is the inability to solve what would usually be considered a simple problem. The other symptoms of PAW that contributed to the inability to solve this simple problem would include:

- Problems with managing stress

- Inability to sleep or sleep disorders

- Lack of physical coordination

- Memory problems

- Emotional over reactions

- Inability to think clearly

Emotional over reaction is a big one. Any alcoholic in recovery will notice the "economy sized emotions" right away. Everything seems larger than life. The inability to sleep is very common too, and the length of time of this sleep disturbance varies by the individual.

The combination of these symptoms lead to lowered self-esteem. The recovering alcoholic will feel embarrassed, he or she will feel like they are not themselves and very out of sorts and this can lead to the loss of self esteem and even a fear of failure to be able to handle the upcoming challenges of life.

Post acute withdrawal is a physical symptom of what is hopefully temporary damage to the nervous system of the drinker, so it stands to reason that when the nervous system is healed, the symptoms will disappear.

In some rehabs they will warn the recovering alcoholic that when you get sober, for the first six months when you suffer from depression, don't look for external reasons for the depression. The depression is also a physical problem that will subside over a period of time as the body heals.

When an alcoholic is starting on the road to recovery, it is very apparent that making the extra effort to take care of his or her health, and keeping stress to a minimum will aid in hopefully a shorter recovery period from the physical symptoms resulting from damage to the nervous system caused by alcohol.

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Stop Drinking Now - Everything About Alcoholism

Stop Drinking Now - Everything About Alcoholism
By Eddie Philips

If you are a sufferer of alcoholism, you are probably cheating yourself into thinking that you are just a consumer of alcohol, whereby the reality is that alcoholism is consuming you. That includes the consumption of your salary, your physical energy, your time that could be better spent and the one that tops the list is your health.

If we are going to describe what alcoholism is, it would be a person who knowingly consumes alcohol while being aware of the negative physical and social consequences that it implies. Medically it would be described as somebody who just can't say no to consuming alcohol. So as a whole we could describe alcoholism as being the tendency to compulsively consume alcohol, while being unable to recognise its negative effects.

There is another type of person who although has problems with consuming alcohol, is able to suppress its characteristics and symptoms. You could classify this type of conduct as alcohol abuse, which would imply that while alcohol is consumed in large quantities, the abuser is in some way able to have certain control over its use. We would have to conclude then that an alcohol abuser is not fully dependent on alcohol as is an alcoholic.

Just to highlight the seriousness of the disease in the US, statistics from the National Council of Alcoholism and Drug Dependence show that over 18 million Americans abuse alcohol. The more serious consequences include more than 100,000 American alcohol related deaths and on the road, 50% of deaths are alcohol related.

Unfortunately even the hardest of alcohol drinkers will try and refuse that they are addicted to the stuff. They will have a certain drinking pattern which will allow them to drink in different places throughout the day and this becomes like a daily routine. It will be difficult to maintain though, as their urge will make them drink more and faster.

Social commitments in their life will begin to take second place as their memory deteriorates and then begin to form 'blacking out'. Any form of social activity or pleasurable entertainment will no longer appear to be of interest as their mind will only be focusing its energies on the next shot. They will begin to appear extremely irritable if they are unable to consume their next dose and they will turn their backs on anyone who is close to them in their lives. They will become very tolerant to the effects of alcohol and will have the urge to drink larger quantities in order to feel the effects again.

Alcoholism or in other words, a physical dependence on alcohol can be described as a disease that will slowly but surely take over the body. Brain chemicals like gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) will suffer an alteration in balance due to an increased alcohol intake, but although this can help to keep impulsive behaviour under control, the presence of glutamate will only excite our nervous system. Excitable behaviour is also provoked by the increased level of dopamine in the brain. The habit of drinking alcohol will have an effect on the levels of these chemicals in the brain and will just cause the body to crave for more alcohol.

Discover how to Stop Drinking Alcohol In 21 Days - Guaranteed by expert Ed Philips and find further guidance here to help you Stop Drinking Alcohol

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Timely Alcohol Detox Saves The Lives Of Drunk Drivers And Their Accident Victims

Timely Alcohol Detox Saves The Lives Of Drunk Drivers And Their Accident Victims
By Rod MacTaggart

If you think drinking alcohol is a normal and acceptable social activity, you have a lot of company. The vast majority of Americans never think about the potential disaster they might cause by driving home after hoisting a few, let alone the risk of alcohol addiction. That's something that happens to movie stars and rock musicians who wind up in fashionable country-club alcohol detox centers.

So let me pose a few questions: Why is it okay to get drunk at every party since high school? Get smashed every weekend at college, and keep getting drunk at party after party as life goes on? And even worse, why is it okay to drive home drunk? Why do people laugh about it instead of getting into alcohol detox where they should be?

And here's another one: Why is drinking at a party any different from going to a friend's BBQ where everybody shoots up heroin? Or lies around on yoga mats smoking raw opium? Because the only real differences between alcohol and street drugs are not about addiction or danger, they're about social custom and the fact that alcohol is legal and cheap.

For some 25 million Americans, alcohol has proven every bit as addictive -- and far more physically debilitating -- than most other addictive drugs. Not only that, although heroin and opium can be difficult and extremely uncomfortable to withdraw from without drug detox, withdrawal rarely kills anyone. Alcohol withdrawal, on the other hand, can actually kill someone unless experienced alcohol detox professionals are on the case.

Every day we read about some person getting busted for DUI, about alcohol-related injuries, crimes and tragic deaths -- things we seldom consider when reaching for another drink at a party. If they're famous, the reporter may add that the person is "entering alcohol detox" or something of the sort, which is commendable and no joke, by the way.

But when was the last time you heard on the news that someone driving under the influence of opium or heroin crashed through a divider and killed somebody? I can't remember such a story, and maybe it could happen. But millions more people drive while impaired by alcohol than narcotics, and it affects drivers much more severely.

And while most people would have a negative reaction to any suggestion they try heroin or opium at a neighborhood BBQ or anywhere else, many go right on drinking until they're staggering, and then pick up the car keys and head for the door. They should be taking a taxi, probably to the nearest alcohol detox center.

I'm not sure of any scientific surveys, but I think the people with real alcohol problems are the ones who habitually drink and drive, not occasional drinkers. Such people should have their keys taken away from them and get into alcohol detox and rehab to deal with their problems.

Here's a case in point. A 32-year-old West Virginia man was convicted recently of felony driving under the influence of alcohol, causing death. Police said Brian Stone of Gans, PA, killed five people from two different families while driving drunk on Interstate 68 in West Virginia last year. Prosecutors said Stone's car was loaded with beer and his blood alcohol content was three times the legal limit.

Police say Stone killed Courtney Evans, 31, and 12-year-old Sawyer Evans, and injured Sheena Evans, 29, and their youngest son, 3-year-old John. Stone also killed Donnell Perry, 52, and daughters Jacquesha Perry, 13, and Jentil Perry, 15, and injured family members Marcia Perry, 18-year-old Justine Perry,10-year-old Cory Perry, 8-year-old Aynna Perry, and 18-month-old Mia Barnes.

Now here's the kicker: This was the seventh time Stone had been arrested for DUI, five times in the past five years alone. This is a person who needed alcohol detox and rehab a very long time ago. An alcohol detox could have paved the way for a full alcohol rehab program that actually saved the lives of five adults and children, and rescued the life of young man who is now looking at possibly decades in prison.

The overall cost to society of alcohol abuse dwarfs the costs of all other drugs. If someone you know and care for has a problem with alcohol, talk to an alcohol detox counselor as soon as possible. It's never too soon to get someone onto an alcohol detox that can open the door to full rehabilitation and a sober life.

Rod MacTaggart is a freelance writer who contributes articles on health.

info@drugrehabreferral.com

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